When people find out you have cancer, it’s common, though not necessarily welcome, for them to offer to connect you to someone who has also had cancer, like a friend’s sister’s roommate with an entirely different diagnosis. And she is probably lovely. But she might not be exactly helpful. People who’ve been through it know how important it is to connect to someone who really, really gets it. Someone who had your diagnosis, who pursued the same treatment you’re pursuing, who has a similar family situation, similar goals: this person can give you tips, advice, commiseration, and that unspoken understanding. But, the big question, how do you find this person?
Imerman Angels operates on a powerful, simple premise: that some of the best support often comes not only from expertise, but from lived experience. For two decades, the organization has built a global architecture of peer-to-peer connection, creating more than 43,000 connections since 2006.
Imerman connects not just people with cancer, but people who care for them as well. And they get finely tuned. They know, from experience, some of the most meaningful connections depend on nuance and specificity. So they connect people not only with similar diagnoses and treatments, but with similar family situations, careers, relationship status, life goals, and locations.
Jackie Herigodt, the Director of Partnerships & Engagement at Imerman, has seen thousands of these matches. She's seen marriages and friendships, and uncanny commonalities. In her Jadey interview, she discusses why loneliness is a medical risk as much as an emotional one, and how a single well-matched human connection can change the trajectory of someone’s cancer experience.
Q:
Should we start with a basic introduction of what Imerman Angels provides?
A:
Imerman Angels is a free global organization connecting people one-to-one. We support cancer fighters, survivors, previvors, and caregivers for any type of cancer or genetic mutation that puts you at high risk for cancer. Ultimately, you are matched with a mentor, an Angel, someone who is volunteering to give back by sharing some light, comfort, and understanding because they’ve been through it.
Often people say, ‘Nobody understands what I’m going through’—but that’s not necessarily true. We’ve been providing peer-to-peer support for almost 19 years, and this is all we do. We do it well. We are the world’s largest peer-to-peer cancer support organization. Over 16,000 mentors have been trained. If you’re going through an experience and think you’re alone, you don’t need to be. We’re waiting for people to reach out and get connected.
Q:
So how do you screen, interview, and prepare mentors? How do you think about making placements?
A:
We have registration forms and interviews. Sometimes people want to give back but realize during these conversations that they also need support. We allow people to “give-and-get.” They can receive support while also training to become mentors. Training includes a mentor guidebook, an interactive tutorial that must be passed to become certified.
Cancer has so many nuances, and every experience matters. We give boundaries, resources, and ongoing support, but the bulk of the training is your own experience. We can’t train you on that.
Q:
How do you support your volunteers when they’re mentoring? Are there problems they frequently approach you with?
A:
Mentors often reach out because a mentee needs additional resources the mentor didn’t personally experience. They’re often like, ‘I got here, and I got here by stumbling. I want to support this person and provide a net beneath them so there's no stumbling.’ Mentors recognize where conversations may go and know how to reach out to us. We help identify the right resources and then empower the mentor with them.
Q:
You’ve talked about people wanting to volunteer while they’re still processing their own experience. Can you explain how you support them through that?
A:
These people are called “give-gets.” They can register, train, and see what mentorship looks like, but during assessment calls or later conversations, they may realize something is still triggering. We welcome that. It’s not a one-way street. We tell mentors we’re here for them too. If they have a recurrence or another diagnosis, we encourage them to focus on themselves and get matched for support. The door is always open. It’s a two-way street.
Q:
Do people ever resist getting that support?
A:
Yes, sometimes people are resistant because they feel they don’t have time. We understand how consuming this experience is. We try to meet people where they are. If you have one or two questions, you can text while sitting in a waiting room. If you don’t want to talk in front of loved ones, you can email. There are many ways to communicate in ways that fit your needs. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming. Sometimes it becomes part of your life. One of my mentees I’ve been connected with for over 12 years. Now we’re friends. It goes from ‘I need to talk’ to ‘I want to talk because they get me.’
Q:
What do these mentor-mentee relationships usually look like over time?
A:
It looks different for everyone, but it usually starts with the mentor scheduling time. We introduce them by email and then they take it from there. It’s very go-with-the-flow and centered on what works for the support seeker. It’s not a 24/7 hotline. These are volunteers, this is not your therapist, and respect around timing is important.
Q:
What are a few examples that were the sort of dream connections that Imerman can make?
A:
We call it “IA magic.” One woman in college was diagnosed with cancer and only wanted email support. Her mentor had gone to the same university, lived in the same building, and even the same dorm room. That wasn’t something we matched on, but it took the connection to a whole new level. They became friends and eventually met in person.
Another really beautiful story is that we had a gentleman who went through testicular cancer. He was married at the time, and he and his wife were told that he was NED, no evidence of disease, and she was super excited, because she wanted to go ahead and start building a family. And his oncologist advised that they hold off for a while still. It was to the point where the wife basically told her husband, ‘Listen, I’ve waited long enough, I'm not waiting for you, so I'm leaving.’ So I reach out to one of my mentors who also had testicular cancer, who also had his wife leave. We connected to him— and that mentor took longer to respond because he was returning from his second honeymoon! He had remarried someone who truly understood all of his stuff. That gave the mentee not just understanding, but hope.
And, he’s now a mentor Angel for us as well.
Q:
Is it always aimed to be so matchy-matchy? How specific are you able to get when matching people, and what happens when requests are very detailed?
A:
Sometimes people have very specific requests, like the same cancer type, physical traits, and location. While that’s not the norm, we go to great depths to try to connect people. We also work with partners [of people who had cancer] to help find matches. Some people are open to having multiple mentors to address different needs. We may provide several mentors so someone can gain a broader perspective. We also match on life roles, like doctors wanting to talk to other doctors who’ve been patients.
One example was someone who came back to us because she needed support again about family-building. She had already had breast cancer, then she became a mentor for that. Then she came back and sought support. She was looking for somebody else that had estrogen positive breast cancer, [who then pursued] IVF and had a successful birth, she also wanted to talk to somebody else who had a surrogate and went through any cancer, she wanted to talk somebody else who adopted after cancer, and she wanted to talk to somebody else who just was not able to have kids. So she asked for this full-blown perspective.
And when she first came to us, she wanted to talk to another doctor, because she was a doctor. She wanted to know: How do you go through cancer as a doctor when you’re used to being the doctor and not the patient. How do you disengage from being the doctor when you are the patient?
Q:
Why do you personally advocate so strongly for peer-to-peer connection in cancer?
A:
I advocate for peer-to-peer because I’ve lived it. I’ve lost my grandmother, my aunt, and my mom. I met my own mentor Angel by chance and didn’t even know I needed it. Our stories were so parallel that the wall just came down. I felt fully seen, heard, and understood. That experience changed everything. Becoming a mentor allowed me to change the narrative from what happened to me to what happened through me. Helping someone feel less alone is a game changer, and that’s why I preach it.
Q:
How do you encourage people who feel too overwhelmed to even think about connecting with someone?
A:
It depends on the individual. One option is taking small notes or voice memos during the process and revisiting them later. You don’t have time to process everything in the moment, but later you can look back and see what you endured and how much you gained. It’s a way to recognize post-traumatic growth and connect with yourself.
There was a 2024 study by the National Comprehensive Cancer Network that found people who reported feeling lonely had a higher mortality rate. This isn’t about living alone. The loneliness is emotional, but having a connection is a lifeline. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. This has a real impact on mental health and physical well-being. That’s why this matters.
Q:
How do you help people realize what kind of support might help them when they don’t even know what to ask for?
A:
People often say they already have friends, family, or a church group. Imerman Angels is not medical advice or therapy, but we understand the nuances of cancer. Different diagnoses and treatment paths are completely different experiences. Someone with one type of breast cancer should not necessarily be matched with another type. Friends and family haven’t been there. It’s like someone recommending a restaurant they’ve never been to and telling you what dessert to get. They haven’t done it; they haven’t ordered that dessert.
