I know the dimensions of my cancer surgery scar, because I measured it. My laparotomy two years ago, to remove a cyst about the size of a respectable papaya from my ovary, resulted in a large, single incision down the middle of my abdomen. It’s a six-inch, almost straight line, that makes a (to me) charming little swerve around my belly button. But, every time I tell someone about it, I hear myself describing a 14 inch scar or a 10 inch scar. There’s no premeditation to this big fish story, but in my mind, the scar looms larger.
The disorientation also might be a holdover from my surgery recovery. I’d never been more loopy, ditzy, physically sensitive, or wobbly. Because this type of surgery cuts through the abdominal muscles, recovery can be rough. One of the roughest parts was what I called house arrest. I’m typically a busy sort of bee, but I was banished to the bed for weeks. I only got “couch privileges” on my third day home.
So most of my suggestions for surgery concern the logistics of staying comfy, scar-healing, and pure entertainment.
Three Bathrobes
Is a bathrobe too expected? Wait wait wait: my real advice is to have three bathrobes that you love. They were all I wore for a couple weeks and it’s nice to have enough sets, so you can put on a clean one each day. For surgery recovery, I wanted robes that didn’t have anything fluffy or fibrous that might snag on my healing incision or bandaging. (Waffle weave was fine; be suspicious of anything plush.)
Monday Crosswords
Give your post-sedation foggy little brain a treat: the easy Monday puzzle.
Like a Cloud Bra
I’m generally a braless person. That means my standards for comfort are unattainable. I had an impossible request from clothing companies: something totally sturdy and something I could forget. This bra gets as close to achieving the impossible. (I’ve tried every dupe; none approached the original in terms of comfort, sleek fit, and longevity.)
Paint Set
After a few days of bed-recovery after the hospital, I spent my waking hours sitting at a card table in front of the TV, watching all of Search Party and doing my painting. What I lack in talent, I make up for in total delight with the task at hand. I don’t know if your painting is knitting, or collage, or doodles— but I recommend an activity you can do with your hands, something a little creative, that you don’t care about being bad at, that you can do sitting. I treated myself to some new colors I’d never painted with before.
Vitamin E Oil for Scar Massage
Once your scar is healed enough (your doctor will tell you), it’s time to nourish on your own. I picked up the big tub of Vitamin E from the hippie-adjacent local co-op (JASON), which had a really nice slick application. But on days when I was feeling lush, I used Malin + Goetz recovery treatment oil, a more luxe, richer oil. It also smells gorgeous, clean and herbal, the lightest mint, rose, and lavender.
Silicone Cupping Set for Scar Massage
After your scar has closed, you want to make sure it doesn’t harden as it heals. My physical therapist suggested using these cupping sets to help break up scar tissue and help it settle. You press the top of the bulb down, let it catch onto your skin, and then release to create a suction with the cups; your skin will lift into the base of the cup, and then you gently move the silicone cups in little circles. It’s an intense sucking feeling; it’s uncomfortable, but it’s not painful per se. Because the cup is actively lifting your skin around the scar, it really adds some movement that will keep the scar tissue flexible and allow for more range of movement. (This is certainly something a medical professional should approve! Ask at your check-in appointment.)
Scar Tape for Comfort
I think scar tape aims to reduce the size of a scar, but my primary interest in scar tape was that it was the most protective, flexible bandage. My shirt brushing across my scar could be startling, especially in a repetitive way when I started walking. My scar tape was the perfect barrier. Once again, we’re working with silicone here; this is a lightly sticky, incredibly flexible tape–which you can cut to any size (when I used Bandaids, they were all too small). There’s something about the sleekness of scar tape that felt like it completely moved with me.
Nice Pants So Comfortable, They Feel Almost Like Lying?
There will be a day, maybe the first day that you’re walking to the end of the block and back, that you may want to “feel like a human girl-woman again.” These Eileen Fisher silk, crepe-y pants are comfortable, swishy, and the perfect clothing item to guide you through.
Susan Sontag’s Illness as Metaphor
Once my cancer was in the “monitoring” phase, I re-read this 1978 classic. Its clarity was bolstering.
Large Crisp Cotton Button-Ups
We already have about fifty pieces of evidence that I was highly fussy about fabrics over my incision. Once I started to be mobile and walk more, the only shirts I wanted to wear were loose, smooth cotton vintage Brooks Brothers men’s button-ups. But if any of my vintage set disappeared, I’d replace them with a new one. They age so well.
A Heavy-Duty Dry Shampoo
This dry shampoo from Swair is another great way to stay fresh during those times where showering is logistically, and emotionally, impossible. It’s made for sweaty hair, but works just as well on three-day-old hair. It freshens up thicker curls in general and has a very pleasant fragrance, which can be a plus, but it’s something to note if you have sensitive skin or an aversion to fragrances.
Silicone Bendy Straws (bendy, emphasize bendy)
Even if you don’t like straws, know this: neither do I. My partner insisted on getting these reusable, bendy straws for me after my surgery. I don’t use straws, so I protested, but my partner had top surgery several years ago and understood that the smallest movement—like sitting up to drink a glass of water—can feel arduous when recovering from major abdominal surgery. A bendy, flexible straw means you can pull the glass from your nightstand over and just lift your head a little bit.
Stationery for Thank You Cards & Boredom Avoidance
We had so many friends take care of us before and after my surgery: friends took our dog, our doctor friend spent the day with my partner at the hospital while I had the surgery. Friends brought us gorgeous meals and a video game console (used twice) and flowers. I thanked them all, but know that I love writing thank you notes, mainly because I love buying myself stationery.
